A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"

Funny Sardar Jokes

Sardar jokes-Going home early

Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.




Pyar to humein bhi karna tha,
par kuch khaas nahi hua.
Tajmahal to humein bhi banana tha..
par afsoos ke....


loan pass nahi hua...




Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".
Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".




Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".




An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof.
They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds,
Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.




Rabri: Ka karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.




Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
Haathi: 1 Saal, te teri?
Chuha: Umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai,
par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti.




Doli wali car dekh-ke heer ne cheekan maariyan ne.
Kehandi main ta rikshe ch jaun,
car ch ta pehlan hi 6 sawarian ne.




Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.




Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.



What do you call a female who never laughs?



"HASINA"